Reflections – Dealing with Self-Rejection and Finding the ‘Actual’ Standards of Beauty!
Negative self-talk and habits that work against us leave us in a bottomless pit – no rocket science there! A constant struggle with self-image and being tied up with one’s appearance, somewhere makes us believe that 'we' and our life scenarios can be so much better if only we could change something about ourselves!
But ladies! Let’s not do it! Why? I’ll tell you why….
Appearance focused people/cultures be them 'hail for curves' or an extra small, skinny waist size may be stylish, visually appealing and just that! They can be as deep as a puddle and may possess little to no understanding of the world around them when it comes to dealing with real life and serious issues that come with it.
Your looks can not and should not define your worth and vice versa. Overvaluing and being blinded by one’s appearance is an acquired behavior that we subtly pick from the world around us. But as we progress in life it is imperative to realize that ‘unlearning’ old and jaded is as important and ‘learning’ new and fresh! Body image related thoughts, patterns and behaviors that cease to serve you must be abolished at all costs. That is because placing success or failure of something on the basis of its looks is directly related to its lack of substance. Unlearning that 'appearance driven' behavior is also important because superficial charm is likely to develop frail human bonds, romantic and otherwise and as a high value individual, why will you do that? Come on!
Failing to distinguish between a persona and personality can subconsciously make us believe that:
1. In order to prove your worth, you have to be beautiful.
2. Outwardly unpleasant people have zero worth.
3. Unattractive people deserve less.
4. A perfect body means no problems in life in general.
5. Being taller/shorter/stronger/fairer/darker/bustier/slimmer or any other sought after shape and size can make crucial changes to some real time problems.
If you feel that you don’t meet the set ‘beauty standards’, then there is absolutely no need to actively seek external validation or try to prove your existence just by getting into a particular size, type, skin color etc. People are loved beyond their looks only when they learn to live congruently with their beliefs and original self.
When we look at a 'perfect' body shape and convince ourselves to believe that someone with right physical attributes has everything that we’ve ever wanted, we conveniently deny the fact that it is not true. Let’s not forget ladies that in order to achieve something in life, you do not have to just show up with your ‘perfect’ looks and people will gladly bestow you with all that you have or you will desire in future. That’s not how life works.
A healthy body inhabited by a happy soul is the true mark of beauty and we must all help ourselves and others in achieving that state.